How to Talk to Children about the Recession
Answer Questions Honestly while Calming Fears
Without a doubt, children are picking up signals that the adults closest to them are worried about their financial security. Parents need to know how to talk straight to their children while allaying their fears. Here are some tips how to answer questions about the family situation in this downward economy
Begin by Considering the Child's Developmental Stage
Talking to Very Young Children: Child psychologists say that preschoolers are apt to confuse facts with fantasy. They do not have the ability to distance themselves from events that may be happening to others or talking place thousands of miles away. Rebroadcasts of a single event, such as a family being forced to live in a tent because their home was foreclosed can be misconstrued as something that will happen to them if, for example, the family is struggling to make ends meet because Daddy or Mommy has been laid off. Therefore, it is a good idea to restrict the viewing of TV programs that repeatedly focus on the negative.
Talking to Children in the Early Grades: Children five and seven are better at separating fantasy from reality, although they may exaggerate the level of danger and fear an immediate threat to themselves. Where a very young child will project himself into the situation and not understand the alternatives that are available to the family living in a tent, children in the early grades can grasp the logic. The key is to be concrete. One suggestion is to say: "If this were to happen to our family, we could always move in with Grandma and Grandpa. Also there are places called shelters where a family can live temporarily until they find housing."
Talking to Middle and High School Kids: Older children are able to see the larger picture and assimilate information. Because they are typically concerned with relationships at this age, they will examine the fairness and justice of the situation. Older teens are worried they will be called into service (have to give up something in order to help out) and will be evaluating their priorities while thinking about the future. "Will I have to take a year off before going to college and look for job? Does this mean I can't go to Spain with the swim team?"
More Advice when Talking about Recession with Kids
- In talking to children about the family's financial situation it is important to reassure them that the family will stay together, that adults will do whatever it takes to keep the children safe and provide for their well-being.
- Send the message that there is more to life than a new car or an expensive vacation even in good times.
- Role model "tightening the belt" by spending conservatively and making the most with what is available like cooking more meals at home and taking books, toys and videos out of the library instead of making unnecessary purchases.
- Even on down days, try to express optimism about the future. "Together we can weather the storm."
- Invite grandparents or older friends to share personal stories about what it was like when they went through tough times, stressing the positive outcomes.
- Empower older children by encouraging them to write letters to government officials with their suggestions about budget cuts, how to save energy, protect the environment, etc.
- Fearful younger children can be involved in art projects and games where they should express their feelings about any sudden changes in family life.
Above all, the best way to talk about the recession with kids is to be open and to listen to what they are saying without summarily dismissing their concerns. It's fine to talk straight but be aware of the child's capacity to understand and interpret what is happening. And, finally, consult guidance counselors or mental health professions if a child is really struggling with issues you find are are too difficult to address.
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